Don't Make A Mess

“Yi Jeong-ah.”



“Woo Bin-ah.”



“I’ve got a question.”



“Sure.”



“Actually, I think I know the answer. But I’m just going to ask you anyway.”



“Okay.”



“Did you have to bring everything back from Sweden?”



Instead of answering the question, the young potter merely smiled, albeit a slightly sheepish smile. Yup, that confirmed it, alright: he did bring a bit too much back with him.



Yi Jeong had returned to Seoul a few weeks before with just one trolley bag (he liked travelling light). The rest of his life (at least the last four years of it), however, turned up just the afternoon before, in eight gargantuan boxes fresh off the freight ship from Sweden. Half of those boxes contained ceramics done during his time there; the other half had since somehow exploded into the mess that was now known as his room. Clothes, magazines, books, CDs, DVDs, files, frames, miniature pottery items, knick-knacks, letters, documents, boxes… strewn or piled or scattered or dumped on the floor, on the table, on the bed… wherever there was available surface space.



The mafia prince couldn’t help but sigh at the unruly sight before him.



“I’ve always known you to be a packrat,” Woo Bin murmured incredulously, “But this is a bit much, don’t you think?” He turned to nudge the doctor standing silently next to him. “Jihoo-yah,” he whispered, “Say something.” The lanky, brown haired man stared blankly ahead.



“I think his body’s in shock,” Yi Jeong smirked, gingerly stepping over random bursts of clothes and files, knocking over a few pottery books in the process of approaching his friends standing at the door. “The neat freak isn’t used to such chaos.”



Jihoo stirred belatedly at the sound of his name. He rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times, but the clutter remained the same. “This is beyond chaos,” he mumbled, shaking his head, “There is simply no classification for a mess like this.”



Scratching his head, Yi Jeong turned to survey his surroundings. “Well, this is why I called you guys over,” he said, turning back to look at his friends pleadingly.



Woo Bin raised an eyebrow at his best friend. “Are you trying to test our friendship? Because if you are, it’s working…”



“Yah! Song Woo Bin! Thanks for the encouragement, but it’s not helping,” Yi Jeong replied, a sarcastic edge in his voice. “Now, would you guys please help me? I don’t want to live in this mess again tonight. One night’s enough for me.”



A customary silence filled the room, broken a few moments later by a yelp from Jihoo, who had accidentally stubbed his right big toe on a box in front of him. He hobbled on one foot, his once-stoic face now contorted in pain and discomfort.



“Yi Jeong-ah,” Woo Bin said hurriedly, as he supported a wincing Jihoo by the shoulders, “It looks like I’ll have to take our resident doctor back to his clinic… we’ll come back tomorrow to help with the remainders!” The two men shuffled out the open door before Yi Jeong had a chance to respond.



“Aish. So much for friendship.” A dejected Yi Jeong muttered to himself, kicking the same (empty) box across the room. It landed next to an untidy lot of magazines near the bathroom door.



“Don’t worry!” he suddenly heard Woo Bin’s voice yell from across the hall, “I’ll call for back-up!”



Back-up?


“Ga Eul-yang.”



“Hmmm?”



“I’m sorry you had to come over to help me clear my mess.”



Ga Eul looked up briefly to smile at Yi Jeong from her corner of the room. “You’ve already apologized twice, Yi Jeong sunbae. It’s fine. I didn’t have much to do tonight anyway.” She looked down and smoothed out a few creases on a light blue shirt.



Yi Jeong gazed at the lady in a fitted yellow dress and black tights seated cross-legged on the floor next to his bed, surrounded by crumpled dress shirts. She picked up a white shirt and began to fold each corner with precision.



Such a mundane task, he marveled from across the room, yet she does it with such care.



He shouldn’t have been, but still, Yi Jeong was surprised that Woo Bin had called Ga Eul over as ‘back-up’. He wouldn’t have dared to impose on her himself. He was secretly glad that she was here, however. They hadn’t seen much of each other upon his return to Seoul, aside from him fulfilling his promise of seeing her first after touching down. They were still very much in the in-between stage with each other; both were well aware of their feelings for each other, but neither made a move to cement anything, though Yi Jeong knew he should have done so the moment he returned.



But back to the mess. They had worked pretty quickly for a duo, such that Yi Jeong was finally beginning to see the floor. (Most credit went to Ga Eul’s systematic clearing methods; he just did what he was told.) In a few short hours, they were able to empty all the boxes and flatten them, organize the mess into neater piles, file away his letters and assorted documents (in chronological order), clean his ornaments and pottery pieces, and display them in various cabinets. Ga Eul was now tackling the clothes, while he was trying to sort out his pottery books and magazines.



Yi Jeong smiled as he continued to eye her in between his sorting. They did make a great team. Not that he’s ever doubted it in the first place. (Neither has he admitted it, though.)



“Jjang.” Ga Eul exclaimed with a triumphant smile, as she folded the last of his dress shirts, placing it neatly at the top of the existing mound. “All done, sunbae.” She stretched her arms and flexed her fingers. “What would you like me to do next?”



“You could take a rest, y’know.” Yi Jeong said matter-of-factly, flipping through one of his pottery magazines and putting it on top of a growing pile. “You’ve been at it since 3.30. We haven’t even had dinner.”



Ga Eul got up from her corner of his sprawling room and tip-toed across random piles of stuff over to the centre, where he was. (All Yi Jeong saw from the corner of his eye was a flash of yellow coming towards him.) She kneeled in front of a pile of stacked pottery books and glanced at their spines. Yi Jeong closed his eyes momentarily as her perfume tickled his nose. He breathed in deep. Jasmine, his favourite. He opened his eyes again before she noticed.



“I’m not that hungry,” she replied cheerily, picking up the same pile of books and cradling them in her arms, “It’s only 8pm anyway. Shall I put these on the bookshelf?”



“Sure, on the second section, next to the pottery annuals.”



Ga Eul rose to her feet steadily and tip-toed again over towers of CDs and DVDs, heading towards the black built-in bookshelf behind his study table. She placed the books on the table and began to arrange them individually. Just then, a thick, professionally bound publication caught her eye. She slid it out from its place on the shelf and glanced at its cover.



“Sunbae!” an excited Ga Eul squealed from across the room, “You still have your high school yearbook! Can I take a look at it?”



A low chuckle arose from Yi Jeong’s throat. “I guess you could. Just make sure you skip looking at the yearbook pictures. I had a bad hair day when I took mine.”



Ga Eul smiled wryly. That could never be possible, she thought to herself, flipping through the Shinhwa High yearbook. As she did, a small, white envelope slipped out from between the pages and floated to the floor. Ga Eul eyed it curiously for a few moments before picking it up.



“Yi Jeong sunbae? Did someone write you a letter when you were in high school?”

“A letter?” Yi Jeong replied, a curious note in his voice, “What letter?”



Ga Eul headed back to where Yi Jeong was sitting, tip-toeing over the same towers of CDs and DVDs. A DVD slipped from the pile onto the floor. She handed him the envelope. “This fell out from between the yearbook,” she said, pushing away a few magazines to make space on the floor, seating herself in front of him after doing so.



The front of the envelope had the following words (written with blue-black ink) scrawled in clumsy penmanship:



For So Yi Jeong



To be opened: 5th May 2013



Yi Jeong’s eyes narrowed as he mentally tried to place the letter, then widening in recognition once he did. “I remember this!” he exclaimed, holding it up into the light. “I wrote this when I was in 10th grade. We had a boring career talk that year, and the only interesting thing we got to do was to write our future self a letter about where we saw ourselves 10 years from that time.” Yi Jeong stared at the envelope in amazement. “Gosh, I didn’t think I still had it.”



He glanced at the date a second time. His eyes widened again, this time in surprise.



“Wow,” Yi Jeong said, “How uncanny. 5th May 2013 is…”



“Today.” Ga Eul glanced back at him in realization, as she finished his sentence.



They sat in pensive silence for a few moments before Ga Eul spoke up again. “Well, what are you waiting for?” she nudged Yi Jeong, a hint of impatience in her voice, “Open it! I want to know what you wrote.”



“Someone’s more excited than I am,” he teased, waving the envelope in his hand, “Why are you so interested to know?”



Ga Eul stuck out her tongue indignantly. “I’m just curious, that’s all. Aren’t you?”



Yi Jeong smiled. Of course he was. This was the first time in 10 years he’d seen the letter. The memory from that day was just a haze (aside from how boring it was), and he had no recollection of what he’d written. He looked up at Ga Eul and down at the letter again. Silently, he turned the envelope to the back and began to open it. After pulling the folded piece of paper out, he hesitated, merely holding it in his right hand, stopping short of opening it up.



“Sunbae?” Ga Eul placed a hand on his right arm. “What’s wrong?”



Yi Jeong placed his left hand over hers, and gave her a strained smile. “Nothing. Just wondering if I’ve fulfilled what I’d said I would.”



Sliding her hand out from underneath, Ga Eul gently placed her petite hand in his own. “Whatever you’d written doesn’t dictate the path that you should’ve taken. It’s just your 16-year-old ideal of your 26-year-old self. But who knows, it just might surprise you. Now, hurry up! I’m dying to know what’s in it!”



Yi Jeong laughed as he squeezed her hand in return. “Well, here goes nothing,” he said, letting her hand go as he opened up the letter.

He cleared his throat and began to read the blue-black scribbles aloud:



Dear Yi Jeong,



It’s really strange writing to myself like this, but I’ve gotta write it, so what the heck. The boring speaker’s been eyeing me since the start of the talk, because damn Woo Bin won’t stop giving me a commentary of all the girls in the auditorium. He’s distracting. As if I really needed to know who’s got the longest legs or who’s got the biggest….



Yi Jeong stopped himself and coughed. She didn’t need to hear that part. Ga Eul, however, was clearly amused. “You were really long-winded for a 16-year-old,” she quipped.



He glared at her (but his little smile gave him away) before continuing.



Anyway. So I have to write down where I see myself 10 years’ from now, and what I think I would have done and/or achieved. It’s so far away though! It’s hard to imagine. But I suppose I’ll try…



Here’s my list (in no particular order of merit):



- Graduate from high school successfully asap and never study again. EVER.



They both laughed out loud at the first point. “Couldn’t wait to finish school, huh?” teased Ga Eul, who poked him in the shoulder.



“It was agony. But at least that’s all over now. And so much for ‘never study again’,” Yi Jeong chuckled, recalling his fruitful time of learning and growth in Sweden. “I quite enjoyed studying, actually.”



“Only when you’re doing something you love.” Ga Eul grinned. “Read the next point!”



Yi Jeong looked down at the next scribbled line.



- Be the best potter in Korea by age 21



Ga Eul saw that the abovementioned potter appeared rather thoughtful at that point.



“That was quite an ambition for a 16-year-old to have,” she offered. “Do you think you’ve achieved that?”



“I may have,” Yi Jeong replied, a faraway look in his eyes, “Or so the media tells me. But honestly, that’s not important to me anymore.”



Ga Eul tilted her head to the left, inquisitive. “Pottery, or the fame that comes with being a famous pottery prodigy?”



“Definitely the latter. I just want to do what I do out of passion. I think I’m over wanting to be famous,” Yi Jeong admitted, his voice suddenly softening and lowering a notch. “It’s meaningless without what means the most to me.”



He moved on swiftly before Ga Eul could respond,



- Have an exhibition at Tate Modern



“Scratch that,” Yi Jeong said immediately, “I didn’t like their selection procedures. I’ve got my eye on MoMA for next year.”



Looking back down at the letter and upon reading the next point, Yi Jeong laughed out loud.



- Have a golden retriever and not kill it



This made Ga Eul laugh too.



“You must’ve been really cruel to your pets to write something of this nature!”



“Considering that I’ve only ever had fish and a tortoise, and seeing that my success rate and their survival rate were pretty dismal, I figured this was an encouraging, hopeful thing to write for the future.”



“So, have you ever had a golden retriever then?”



“For the sake of not killing an innocent animal? No.”



“Fair enough.”



Ga Eul peeked over his shoulder and read the next point. She couldn’t help but giggle again.



- Have good friends by my side (preferably the F4)



Yi Jeong stared at Ga Eul in amazement. “What’s so funny about that? Is this something so hard to believe that I could possibly achieve?”



“What’s funny,” Ga Eul pointed out helpfully, a wide, teasing grin on her face. “Is how you put that point below ‘having a golden retriever’. So, which is more important then?”



Her comment made him frown. “Hey, I was only 16. I hadn’t perfected my writing skills just yet. My teacher used to say I make poor transitions in my essays,” Yi Jeong half-joked, a smirk on his face. “But in all honesty, that’s certainly one thing that has been fulfilled. I’m just lucky to have such good friends around me. And people who care.”



“As long as you don’t, ahem, kill your friends first.”



“Yah! I’m not planning to, thank you,” a disgruntled Yi Jeong retorted, trying to elbow Ga Eul, but missing. “Unless it’s absolutely called for. Which reminds me, I owe Woo Bin and Jihoo one for leaving me in my hour of need…”



Ga Eul sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Sunbae, if there’s anything you have to do to get back that them, it’s to kill them with kindness,” she said, giving him a wink. “Now, next point.”



- Quit learning the saxaphone because it sucks



Reading this point surprised Ga Eul. “Did you really think so, sunbae? I didn’t know you didn’t like it.”



Yi Jeong glanced up, a queasy look on his face. “That’s because you didn’t know my saxaphone teacher. Jo seon saeng was possibly the worst person to ever cross paths with. He had a bad temper, a bad hairdo, and he perpetually reeked of fish.” He shuddered at the memory. “I’d just started learning the sax at that point. But I’ve got to admit, as time went on, I realized he was a pretty darn good teacher. Especially since he taught me that song I played in the club all those years ago.”



How could she forget the song he played on their acting date at the club? The same song that turned all the girls there that night into jelly. Ga Eul warily eyed the Casanova next to her, raising an eyebrow. “So, he taught you how to use the saxaphone to charm girls?”



“Let’s just say Jo seon saeng nim had a few tricks up his sleeve when it came to things like that,” said Yi Jeong mysteriously, returning Ga Eul a wink. “Next point.”



- Get my driving licence on the first try; drive a Ferrari



“Definitely happened!” Yi Jeong yelled a bit too loudly, pumping his fist in the air.



“Well, sorry to be a spoilsport on this one,” Ga Eul said, poking a celebratory Yi Jeong in the shoulder, “But what happened to the Ferrari, sunbae? Couldn’t afford one?”



“Pssh,” Yi Jeong scoffed, lowering his hand and rolling his eyes, “Ferrari was so 2003. My Elise is still the way to go. It’s the future.”



“You’ve had the car since the time we met.”



“And you like it, don’t you, Ga Eul-yang? It’s got character, and flair and… history. Lots of it.”



Ga Eul smiled, recalling the numerous rides she’s had in his orange Lotus Elise, how it has seen both of them through the good times, and the bad. She didn’t like it initially, but has since grown pretty fond of it. “She’s a good car, Elise,” Ga Eul conceded. “Next point? You can read it.”



Yi Jeong picked up the letter again to read the next point, which made his smile completely vanish as he did so. Curious, Ga Eul peered over his shoulder and silently read the last point to herself.


Ga Eul didn’t have to look at Yi Jeong to know how he was feeling at that moment. His breathing had become shallow, and the letter was trembling in his hand, as if it was the one scared of the truth.



The couple sat in silence for a few minutes. It wasn’t a comfortable silence, nor was it uneasy. It was just… silence. Yi Jeong looked down at the letter, not willing to meet Ga Eul’s eyes.



“Do you think I have, Ga Eul?” he whispered, his voice shaking. “Have I walked in my father’s footsteps?”



Ga Eul’s heart broke for her sunbae at that very moment. It made her sad to see him still so affected by the most important male role model in his life. But yet, she was glad to have him be honest with her. She loved him more and more each time he peeled away the layers that hid his true feelings. She wanted to love him for who he was, and not anything less.



She cupped Yi Jeong’s chin and raised it gently, trying to make him meet her gaze. She did not speak until his doleful eyes had the courage to finally look at her.



“Would you have fulfilled your promise to me if you had?” she asked him earnestly. “Would you have even made that promise to me in the first place, that I would be the first you’d seek upon your return? Hmmm? You do know that if you were how you used to be, I wouldn’t even mean anything to you. But I know you are not that person anymore.” Ga Eul gently caressed Yi Jeong’s cheek. Closing his eyes, he placed his hand over hers, and pressed her palm against his cheek, relishing the coolness of her skin against his.



She smiled and continued. “You may be your father’s son, and you may share his family name, but know that you are nothing like him, and you never have to be him. You have grown to become a man of your own caliber, So Yi Jeong. And I am so proud of you.”



Yi Jeong gave himself some time to let Ga Eul’s words settle in his heart, before opening his moist eyes to meet hers once again. He took in a deep breath, shuddering slightly as he did so.



“N-no one has ever said that to me before. That they are proud, of me.”



Yi Jeong slid Ga Eul’s hand away from his cheek towards his lips, and kissed it tenderly. His kiss was feather light to the touch, but still a sensation strong enough to send tingles through her system. Ga Eul gasped at his spontaneous gesture, unaccustomed to his displays of affection. She didn’t know how to respond. All those times she had imagined something like this happening… now all drew a blank.



It was good. It meant that she was in the moment, and that it was all she had right now.



“Maybe I should tell you that a bit more often then,” she whispered, somehow finding her voice again.



A tender smile slowly spread across Yi Jeong’s handsome face, making his jawline even more defined than before. He kissed her fingertips one last time before speaking.



“There’s just a bit more to read. Let’s finish this, shall we?”

Ga Eul nodded. She took the letter off Yi Jeong and read the last line out loud.



That’s all. Good luck, hyeong. I hope you’re happy, however you eventually turn out to be.



So Yi Jeong

5th May 2003



Hmmm, that’s it? Ga Eul thought to herself, slightly disappointed. She began to fold the papers back, her fingers brushing the edge of the letter just as she was doing so.



“Hey, wait, there’s a second page to this.” Ga Eul pointed out, shuffling the second page to the front. She scanned the second page silently, and this is what she read:



PS: How could I forget. Hopefully, in 10 years’ time, you also would have found a girlfriend or something. And hopefully you’ll love her more than she does. Take care of her. Don’t make a mess out of things.



Ga Eul just had to chuckle at that last line. “My, your 16-year-old self really had lots of faith in your 26-year-old self, didn’t he?” She passed the second page to Yi Jeong, who snatched it from her to read it for himself.



Yi Jeong meditated on that last line. Did he really think he would have messed things up? He closed his eyes and tried to recall what he was like at that time. Was he already a Casanova then? Had he already messed things up with another girl? Was this a rare, prophetic insight into his future? He opened his eyes again.



“Hey,” Ga Eul waved a hand in front of a contemplative Yi Jeong, “Penny for your thoughts?”



Don’t make a mess out of things.



“You,” he said simply.



The lady before him blinked. Yi Jeong continued, before she could open her cherry lips to question him.



“I don’t want to mess this up; you, me… us. You… you are always cleaning up my messes. You are always there for me. And you never seem to mind.” he looked down, suddenly feeling uneasy, and completely out of his element. “I-I will forever be grateful. But I think it’s time I learn to deal… umm, it’s time I… well…”



Ga Eul put a finger to his lips.



“Shhh,” she whispered, “It’s okay. I’ve just got something to say.”



She leaned in, a little apprehensively at first. He felt his breath catch in his throat when her lips stopped just centimeters from his. Yi Jeong didn’t know where to look – her eyes, her face, her mouth? His eyes were scrambling to figure out what to do, when his ears heard her teasing voice whisper again.



“Does it mean I don’t have to help you clean up this mess in your room anymore?”



An exasperated look crossed the (ex?) Casanova’s handsome features. He tried to protest, but Ga Eul cut him off with a stolen kiss so fleeting, it almost felt like it didn’t happen. It was like a dream, except now he could taste berries on his lips.



Ga Eul pulled back, with a shy, yet slightly mischievous smile lighting up her face.



“I’m kidding, sunbae. You won’t make a mess out of things…” she trailed, suddenly looking coy, “…if we work this out together. That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?”



Together. This word would have a new meaning from this night forward. Yi Jeong sighed in relief, closed his eyes again, and leaned his forehead against Ga Eul’s. A strange feeling seized his heart. It ached so much; it felt like it was going to burst. Yet somehow, this ache was not without an odd sense of peace. He wanted to feel this way for a long time to come, if this was how she was going to make her feel.



“What would I do without you?” he murmured.



His fair lady in yellow leaned forward again. “You won’t. I’ll be here.”



As their lips met for a proper, full on kiss (and the improved mess in the room temporarily forgotten), Yi Jeong smiled to himself, somewhat nostalgically. If only his 16-year-old self could see him now: a contented 26-year-old, who was so much in love with his soulmate, and who had turned out to be a decent guy after all (and not to mention, a pretty darn good kisser).